7 Ways You May Be Offending The People of Finland Without Realizing It
Did you know that in Finland, long-distance trains are fitted with ‘quiet rooms’ so that you can take your calls without subjecting the entire cabin to your conversation?
It is also social faux pas to engage in small talk, strike up random conversations with strangers, be loud, be late, sit directly next to a person on public transport…
Yes. At first glance, it seems like it takes very little to set off the Finns, a people who seem to frown the moment you come too close or speak when you’re not spoken to. It’s as if this country were a sacred piece of land carefully set aside for the introverted; and just like any introvert will fully attest to and commiserate, this basically means that before anyone can get to properly know you, they would first think you reserved, aloof, unfriendly – and perhaps even a little rude. But, to understand a people, first you must understand their culture; and in Finland, this entails taking a deep dive into their values, their traditions, and their basic societal norms.
The Finns are a very private people. They are quiet, and they are pensive, and they often subtle, and modest, and relatively restrained. They are also very practical in nature, and they are independent; and more often than not, unreadable in ways easily misconstrued as standoffish. They are fierce guardians of personal boundaries- yours as much as their own- and often times, this means they have very little tolerance for the kind of less-than etiquette that has somehow been normalized and percolated into most cultures today – like the need for small talk to ease the “awkward silence” (there is no “awkward silence” in Finnish culture; silence is the gold standard); our delicate dance around a strictness for punctuality; the belief that interesting personalities can only be crafted from a certain degree of loudness.
It’s not that the Finns don’t care. On the contrary, they actually do – and it might even be argued that they care more than the rest of us, dearly. It just happens that they care differently. And perhaps, if we remove our own perspectives and acknowledge the practicalities behind why they behave the way they do, we might just realize, the Finns aren’t the ones being rude all this while, after all.
7 WAYS YOU MAY HAVE BEEN OFFENDING THE FINNS WITHOUT REALIZING IT
1. Talking For the Sake of Talking
If you’re a creature of small talk, this one’s going to be hard for you… because the Finnish people really hate talking for the sake of talking.
It’s not that they’re an unfriendly people, they just don’t see a point in pointless conversations (and to be perfectly honest, my inner introvert loves them for it). If you need directions or have something pertinent to speak, you’d be surprised how all in they are – but if you’re gonna start chatting about the weather or start showing them pictures of your kids or pets, then… …
Learn to be at one with silence. The Finns will love you better for it.
3. Wearing Shoes In the House
Take note of this especially if you’re renting an Airbnb; this is a practice more deeply ingrained in the Finnish culture than you think, and it’s less of a ‘recommendation’ than it is an actual requisite.
Logically speaking, it’s a simple respect for cleanliness and prevents the spread of dirt & debris through the household (Finland is snowing half the time and the other half is just as often wet and muddy.); symbolically, it’s classic Finnish etiquette that reflects the emphasis on hygiene and a basic consideration for others.
5. Lumping Finnish & Sweden Cultures (They’re Same Same, But Also Very Different)
Yes they’re neighbours, and yes the Swedish language is plastered everywhere on signboards and streetmaps – but, the Finnish people actually don’t appreciate you bringing up stuff about Sweden as a means of showing how much you understand Finland. It’s like someone claiming to know you just because they know your sibling – or worse, thinking you’re both one and the same because you’re siblings.
While both countries admittedly share a great deal of history and cultural traditions, they have distinctly different national identities, and do not like being tribalized just because they’re both ‘Nordic’. And if it isn’t obvious enough, please also refrain from making comparative remarks like “Swedish/Finnish ___ is better…” to people you’ve just met. Even if it’s something you think they’re better at, your ‘compliment’ can still come across mildly offensive because the comparison in itself is unwelcome; not to mention telling of your cultural insensitivities.
2. Having No Concept of Personal Space
Possibly the only thing the Finns love more than silence is their personal space; and from buses and trams to trains, public spaces, and anywhere that has seats really, it is considered a legitimate invasion of personal space when you stand too close or sit next to someone just because the seat’s empty – especially if there are other empty seats around.
In fact, it’s common etiquette to leave empty seats in between yourself and the next person whenever possible. I’ve personally witnessed on the plane, a Finnish woman flatly declining a man’s request to change seats to her row, as it would mean giving up the empty seat next to hers.
4. Thinking That Eating Reindeer Or Elk Is Cruel
Reindeer is one of the most consumed forms of meat in Finland, so you can imagine why this might offend them. More likely than not, we are probably just not used to the idea of eating reindeer/elk and as such, when our minds need to square this thought, we instinctively equate it to cruelty- because we have only ever perceived reindeer and elk strictly as woodland animals.
Unless you’re vegetarian/vegan, you can imagine how this thought can seem quite the hypocrisy – especially if we enjoy our own fair share of meat in our diet. Reindeer has been an important source of food for the Arctic people from as far back as the prehistorical times – long before we started experimenting with eating sheep and beef (and venison).
6. Being Late (And Not Sorry)
The Finnish people are extremely punctual, so don’t expect trains, buses, or your tour groups to wait around for you. When they say they’re leaving at 10am, you can be sure they won’t be there at 10.01am – or if they are because of you, expect to be on the receiving end of some extent of annoyance, because the Finnish people generally have very little tolerance for tardiness.
It’s a no-brainer, really: here, puncutality is a reflection of personal responsibility and respect for others’ time; and when you’re frivolous about showing up on time, it means you’re being disrespectful of their time.
7. Expecting Service Excellence
Before you come at me, let me explain. I am not saying that the Finnish people have bad service; I am saying that they operate the way anyone who has ever been in retail in their lives wish the world can operate: with a brain.
In short, the Finnish people do not subscribe to the concept of ‘Customer Is King’. Do not expect to get away with karenism, or think that summoning “the manager” will intimidate anyone. Also do not be difficult with your order, or go up to the barista with your white-girl laundry list of how exactly your coffee needs to be made. Unless you have an allergy, they will expect that you are a perfectly functioning adult fully capable of taking out whatever bits of your meal that you do not like.
Also, at stores, they do not oversell. At help counters, they answer only precisely to the question you ask and offer nothing more; even when it’s obvious what you need (so be extremely clear about what you ask).
It’s not that they’re disinterested; or are deliberately trying to be unhelpful, it’s generally how the Finns roll. They do not impose, and so do not expect people to impose on them. They also don’t normally complain; and therefore, do not take well to complaints. Instead, they are independent; they are great believers of personal space; they prefer to get things done on their own before seeking help; and, they expect adults to be, quite simply, adults.
STORY TIME
On my train ride back to Helsinki from Rovaniemi, I unwittingly turned up at the train station a little too early (train was scheduled to leave at 5am, I was there at 4am); and everything was CLOSED. The indoor waiting area was locked. The washroom, which was my last resort, was situated inside the indoor waiting area, locked. There was a train already parked on the tracks, lights fully on; but, all the doors were, you guessed it, locked.
The cold was -21°C (-5.8°F).
I had my niece with me. Within five minutes, her hair started to turn white and upon closer look, I realized to my horror that literal ice was forming on her hair. I distinctly remember Googling if a human body could survive being consistently exposed to -21°C for an entire hour (The answer was, possibly. Not ‘definitely’. Possibly.)
Somewhere around 4.20am (trust me when I say that twenty minutes is longer than twenty minutes when you’re enveloped by a -21°C cold), a man appeared out of nowhere. Tall, stoic, unmistakably Finnish. He fiddled with something and the train doors opened, and it dawned on us immediately that he was an employee. He was about 20m (approx. 65 ft) away from where we stood. I briskwalked up to him but by the time I caught up, he’d disappeared into the train. I feverishly pressed on the door button – the very same one he just did seconds ago; but somehow the doors were locked again now that he was inside.
But at least there is life, I’d thought. And his unexpected appearance was highly comforting, and the handful of minutes I had to wait outside for him to come back out again were remarkably much more bearable than the twenty before. When he finally materialized once more, I rushed up to him (perhaps, a little too eagerly) and asked (perhaps, a little too roundabout-ly), if it was possible that we waited inside the train, even as I understood that we might have reached a little too early and it might not be ready but it’s just that it was getting very cold and we reached much earlier than we’d expected so-
“The doors are open,” he cut me off curtly.
I was caught off guard by his tone which was crisp and unfeeling; and somehow that instinctively triggered me into feeling like I needed to smooth the conversation. And so, in a bid to compensate for his lack of politeness, I effused too much of my own and asked, again, if it was alright then that we waited inside.
“The doors are open,” he replied again, in the same stoic austerity that could very well outdo our -21°C cold.
“Oh, so it’s okay for us to come in?”
“The doors are open.”
Moral of the story?
Get to the point.
When you’re talking to a Finn, don’t beat around the bush, or attempt to be polite with small talk or by stuffing your words with too much niceties. This holds up well in Asia, and the UK and US and many other parts of the world too in fact… but in Finland, their people have very little tolerance for any of it.
Here, to be polite is to be concise, so embrace brevity, appreciate the art of straightforward conversations, and speak, only when there is something to be said.
Comments
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shafinah.j
RIGHT??? the same thing goes for Sweden – my inner introvert would FIT. RIGHT. IN. this is my paradise 😂
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shafinah.j
thank you Angela, glad you liked it! ❤️
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Cosette
Yes, different country, different culture. Although we found more than one chatty finnish person when we visited last year.
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shafinah.j
that’s awesome, this probably means you must have been a really great conversation partner too! ❤️
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Umiko
This is interesting. I don’t think I’ve met a Finnish before, but I will remember this when I get a chance to visit the country. Straight t the point!
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shafinah.j
thank you umiko – im glad you it’s useful for you! ❤️❤️
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kmf
I worked for a Finnish company for 16 years and visited the country often. You’ve definitely highlighted the top things that may seem offensive. As an American, I am a hugger and had to remember to respect their space even with coworkers who became my friends.
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shafinah.j
gosh thanks this means a lot to me! while i enjoy writing my observations about other cultures, i try very hard to make sure i’m not overgeneralizing too.. i’m glad this resonated with you!
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Steph
Always good to know the specifics nuances of a culture! Will definitely keep this in mind if I meet a Finnish!
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shafinah.j
definitely! 🌺
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Susanna
It is so important to understand culture when visiting. As a fellow introvert, I found Finnish culture to be charming and refreshing in its own way. I love how you paired the cultural expectations with a personal story – it really hits home that we need to get to the point. I hope this helps people visit Finland with more awareness and enjoy it as a beautiful country with wonderful people!
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shafinah.j
gosh thanks for your kind words Susanna! 🌻 i wavered abit at the beginning cos i was a lil embarrassed to share but i’m happy to know you enjoyed it- makes it worth the while truly! ❤️❤️
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Sonia
Great tips! I think researching the place the you’re visiting is key, so that you can try to adapt to local expectations.
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shafinah.j
indeed! ❤️
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shafinah.j
gosh thanks Sue! it means alot that you enjoyed my personal anecdote! ❤️
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DM Marino
Very interesting. Having not yet been to Finland, this is good information. As a Canadian, we would also be offended by leaving your shoes on in the house! As a vegetarian, I would think eating those animals are cruel, but would not share those thoughts outwardly. Thanks for sharing.
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shafinah.j
i honestly thought the ‘no shoes indoors’ rule was an Asian thing.. i never knew it was widely practised in other cultures too, it’s really interesting (and i’m actually relieved loll)! i could never understand shoes in the house tbh!!
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Tigrest
This rings a lot of bells, as I’m from Estonia and things work very similarly here! Especially small talks, disturbing private space, etc
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shafinah.j
well if that’s the case then Estonia is DEFINITELY going to be next on my list! 😂😂 can’t tell you just HOW MUCH i appreciate this culture, Estonia sounds heavenly! 🥰
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Steph
This is insanely helpful. I always worry that I’ll accidentally offend someone, but this sounds like it’s an introvert’s heaven. I cannot even imagine waiting in that cold for 20 minutes.